Numismatics damaging to family life

It's pretty clear at this point in the thread that the OP harbors resentment against his partner/mother of his children for leaving despite his neglect of more important things, as well as some posters here for not supporting his side of the situation.

Matter of the fact is that most of us here don't have $10k to spend on coins in a year, let alone a month, and even if we did have that kind of dough, it would be appropriated elsewhere, not towards a hobby, especially if our homes were in a state of disrepair. Nobody here is going to feel bad or sorry for you, or support you against the mother of your children in this case. There are cases where women take advantage of men and exploit the situation before them to their benefit, be that financially or otherwise, but this is not one of those situations. This is a situation where a grown man has decided that his toys and hobbies are more important than his family. This is the case of a grown man that acts like a 16 year old in regards to his relationships with others and the responsibilities said relationships come with.

Long story short, OP.... you reap what you sow, and anybody who supports your side and offers you cameraderie in this situation is just a misogynist, plain and simple.

Last note... I'm not married, but I have a girlfriend that I care about very much. If she told me that coins were ruining our relationship and either the coins go or she goes, the coins would go in a second. That doesn't make me a weak-minded, brainwashed American girly man, it makes me a man that understands that little disks of metal are replaceable, but the kind of relationship I have with her is not.

 

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Take some advice from a superannuated geezer: don't let women boss you around. They won't respect you if you do.

Well, actually it does make you a girly-man to some degree. Women are like streetcars, another one will come along sooner or later.

 

Don't worry, she respects me. Some women may be like streetcars, but when you find a very good looking streetcar with rich as heck parents... you'll generally want to stay with that streetcar for a while. Just saying...

 

What are you, some kind of weak-minded, brainwashed, American girly man?

If I were dating a woman that randomly told that either the coins go or she goes, then I'd say, "SEE YA!!!" It wouldn't be about picking coins over people, it would be about the fact that she would make me choose at all. If I have to change to keep her around, then she must not want to be with ME to begin with. I also have a strong dislike of people that try to manipulate me, I wouldn't want to keep her around just in case this type of thing would become a recurring theme.

However, if she had a valid argument that my coin collecting activities had become unreasonably expensive, time consuming, or actually interfered with our relationship in a real way, then yes, I would take action to correct the situation. I'm completely reasonable and try to be as fair as possible, but I'm a bit gun shy about being manipulated for @^$$# !!

 

I liked what you had to say until I read the above comment. And good luck with that - rich parents want rich son-in-laws. If you're not [rich] and you think it's okay, just wait .......

 

You are all insane. The fact that you even mention her parents' finances is ridiculous.

And the geezer is obviously bitter about some things.

 

Oh I agree 100%. She would never want to deprive me of something that I enjoy doing unless it was really for the betterment of us as a whole. She is quite understanding about the whole coin obsession that I have, and supports it as long as it doesn't get in the way of more important things. So I know she wouldn't ask me to unless it really was necessary. Hence, if she asked, I would do it.

I am not concerned about the money... It's a fringe benefit. They love me anyway, her mom keeps asking when we are gonna get married, ha. She pulled me aside last time we were over there and offered to pay for the wedding and give us a large down payment for a house.

 

my friend, coins are worth more than wives any day.......seems like you got things goin okay, I mean you probably have some sweet coins in your collection if you can spend ten K in a month on them......why isn 't anyone saying bad stuff about this dude's wife, i mean she left him and took the kids and is probably now thinking of ways to get a divorce and get paid off this dude working hard.......who cares if the house isnt perfect, if his wife is a stay at homer why hasn't she helped him get this stuff fixed? I say your coins and kids should be your priorities (not in that order though) and maybe he should find a new lady who loves coins....just sayin.

 

PT Barnum was right.

 

He opened the thread by stating that obsession over his hobby had damaged his family life. We reacted accordingly.

If he had opened the thread by stating that his partner is a DIRTY F%$^&*@ B%$#& !!!!......Well.......then we would have reacted differently.

 

Not bitter at all, just understand women - well at least as much as any man can understand women!

 

I read through 5 pages and still haven't seen a list or pics of $10,000 worth of coins!!

 

They aren't that complicated. Sounds like you've gotten the run around a few times.

 

How old are you? If its younger than your late twenties, this is all just playing house.

 

I must admit, she doesn't sound like she's making sound decisions either, but the guy can't rely on her to change, he can only control his own actions.

 

A ton of internet Quarterbacks here OP. Its usually what you are asking for though when putting it all out there. OP, once at the bottom, things become clear. I know this personally. Do what you are doing, you learned, you know. Your wife or whatever just put you in check, time to man up, but you know this. Goodluck op, sadly....sometimes it takes these kind of shake ups, to open our eyes.

OP, one more thing to add. Don't really bother with some of these comments. Im sure you and I would both be amazed at how some of these " righteous" basement pasties live.

GL buddy, things will work out.

 

Sounds like you don't have much experience with the ladies.

 

He is just another internet kid who knows everything. Judging by his 6 or 7 posts in this thread, you are correct. You ever notice how the people who have the most to say are usually in worse shape?

 

Rich as heck huh? I guess we all know now why you're with this girl.

Isn't "paying for the wedding" the traditional responsibility of the bride's parents anyway?

I kinda wish that your future Mother-On-Law could read what you said about her.

 

It is your life but all i have to say is hope you learn from what went wrong and correct it.